


The Roots Reach Beneath the Sleeping Street

by Chash



Series: Better Ways to Be Alive [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Sharing a Bed, Urban Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-13 20:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16479539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Once Bellamy has agreed to just share a bed with Clarke once, he can't exactlystopdoing it. A precedent has been set, and he has to live with it. Platonic sleeping with his platonic best friend: totally fine. Not a problem at all.





	The Roots Reach Beneath the Sleeping Street

In theory, Bellamy was just going to go home after Madi's birthday celebration, but it got late, and he wants to find out about her powers first thing in the morning, and he never really wants to _leave_ Clarke, so when she tells him to just stay, he agrees. And when she tells him he can just crash in her bed, there's no way he can say no to that, both because he doesn't want to and because he's already done it once and nothing went wrong and there's a precedent now. He doesn't have any good reason to say no.

So instead of going home, he ends up in Clarke's bed, because Madi is going to ruin his life. In the nicest possible way.

He'd known it would be different, having her, had even worried about it, futilely. His concern about what adding a child into their already too-close friendship would do was completely irrelevant, because Madi needed Clarke to adopt her. Even if she hadn't been a witch, Bellamy would have told her to do it. The impact Madi has on his life and his feelings for Clarke doesn't matter, compared to the impact they're having on hers. In only a couple months, they've watched her bloom, settle into her own skin, her own place. And once her powers wake up, once she's sure this is all real and she's getting it, he's pretty sure it's going to get be even better for her.

He's still having some trouble. But he'll figure it out. 

Clarke's oversleeping charm wakes them up without noise or fanfare; his eyes pop open and he's staring at the ceiling, flat on his back while Clarke is curled onto her side, facing the wall. It's woken him up a handful of times before, but not since high school, not since they stopped having covert sleepovers after a night of irresponsible magic use. It's somehow familiar, but still vaguely disconcerting. Clarke gets a sensation; Bellamy is just _awake_.

"You think she's okay?" he asks.

"She must be." Clarke flops onto her back. "Can you even imagine how much it would suck if she didn't get her magic after this?"

"I'm trying not to. I get why you have to prep her now, but--"

"I know. Part of me wanted to try to keep it secret until her birthday, but then it's even weirder. _Here, write these characters on this piece of paper and touch it for me, don't ask questions_."

"Yeah, I don't agree with a lot of your grandmother's teaching methods, but she had this one right. You made the right call." He rolls out of the bed, cracking his neck and back. He likes Clarke's bed, in theory, but the amount of tension he holds when he's trying to fall asleep next to her is unreal. 

Worth it, obviously. But still.

Clarke sighs "I know. I'm still worrying."

"Welcome to having a teenager."

"She's twelve. We've got another year before she's a teenager."

The casual plural doesn't throw him, not exactly. He uses it as much as Clarke does, just as easily, and he knows it doesn't really mean anything. He promised he'd help with Madi and he meant it; they're in this together.

But it still makes his heart flip.

"So cherish this year, it gets worse."

"Thanks as always." She gets up herself, letting out a breath. "Ready?"

"Hey, you're the one who has to explain if she doesn't have powers."

She elbows him and he grins and follows her out of the bedroom.

If Madi is awake, she's not immediately obvious, which is nice. He has no idea what she thinks about his and Clarke's relationship--she probably thinks they're together, if she thinks anything at all--but he'd rather not encourage her assumptions by doing stupid shit like sleeping with Clarke.

Platonically sleeping with Clarke. But Madi could misinterpret.

"You want to go get the eggs?" she asks him, as she gets the coffee out. "You'll make the chickens' year."

He makes a face. "You know I can feel myself getting stupider when I talk to the chickens."

"So don't talk to them. It's Madi's birthday, she shouldn't have to do chores."

Despite his protests, Bellamy does kind of _like_ the stupid chickens, and it's not like he really would have said no anyway, so he grabs the basket and goes down to the coop. As always, the chickens are equally excited about him and nervous about the cats, and he takes a minute to assure them, as always, that the cats are inside and wouldn't eat them anyway. Once that's sunk in, they're happy to greet him and pass on their various complaints, which today seem to mostly be that dew is wet and they aren't currently eating.

Bellamy loves all animals, he really does, but Clarke's chickens are idiots.

But when he gets back inside, Madi is at the counter with her glowing charm in front of her, so at least there's that.

"Happy birthday," he says. "What's it like being a witch?"

"Okay so far. All my stuff works."

"I was expecting a little more excitement."

"It's really cool, but nothing flashy yet."

"Don't hold your breath, _flashy_ isn't really what we do. Although--" Her eyes light up in that way Bellamy gets to see so rarely, her excitement pure and unchecked, no self-consciousness. "Can you take this over?" she asks him, and he nods.

"What's she getting?" Madi asks him, suspicious.

"How would I know? It's witch stuff."

Clarke comes back with a giant book, bound in black cloth that's faded to gray over the years. To be fair to Madi, he probably should have guessed this one, but he hasn't actually seen the book in years. Clarke's grandmother would bring it out and consult it sometimes, with great ceremony, but it's huge and a total pain, so Clarke tries to avoid it when possible. She has a cheat sheet.

"What's that?" asks Madi. She sounds interested, not disappointed that Clarke's big, exciting thing is a giant book, so it's no wonder they're all getting along. Bellamy passed for a cool kid in high school, and Clarke was kind of a jock, but by this point they've both leveled out into well-rounded, physically fit nerds.

Madi's fitting right in.

"This is the dictionary of glyphs," Clarke says. "You can't read it unless you're a witch."

"So Bellamy can't?"

"It gives me a headache looking at it," he admits. "You wouldn't have been able to read it yesterday, either."

"Have you ever done a magic-eye puzzle?" Clarke asks. "Do kids still do those?"

"You're not that old," Bellamy teases, and she shoots him a smile. 

"I've done them," says Madi. "One of my social workers had them up all over her waiting room and I was in there a lot."

Clarke winces, but it's quick enough Madi doesn't notice. "It's kind of like that. For Bellamy, the picture never comes into focus. For you and me, it just takes a second."

"And then what do we see?"

Clarke opens up the book, so Bellamy turns his attention back to the eggs. It's not, exactly, that he _wants_ to be able to read the book; he doesn't really care about glyphs, and if he got to pick between his powers and Clarke's, he'd always pick his. But he'd like to have something like the book of glyphs, some family heirloom passed down over the generations. He'd like to know someone with powers like his, would like to have some history of it. He'd like something he could pass down, if he ever has kids, some lore that he hadn't invented himself.

"Oh wow," says Madi, with awe, tugging his thoughts back to her. "There are so many."

"Yeah. If there's ever something we don't know how to do, it's probably in the book. But most of them aren't that useful."

" _May the cow be still while I milk her_ ," Madi reads. "Do you have any for the chickens?"

"I don't need any charms for animals, I've got Bellamy."

It's a good thing neither of them is paying attention to him, or they'd see his neck flush. As it is, he can take a second to not be a weirdo, and then say, "Okay, stop reading, eat breakfast. You can do more glyphs after."

With the book out and food in her stomach, Madi's excitement wakes up. She's all questions again, asking Clarke if they can start making potions too, if she can do spells like calling rain, and Bellamy makes sure the dishes are done and then says, "Okay, I'd better head out."

Madi frowns. "Why?"

"I'll be back for birthday dinner take two, but I have stuff to do at home. And you guys are set, right? You don't need me for this."

That gets him a sharp look from Clarke, as he knew it would as soon as the words left his mouth. "You're always helpful," she says, the most he'd expect from her in front of Madi.

"Yeah, but if I don't feed the cats they'll come over here and start yelling at me." He smiles. "If there's anything I can help with, call. Otherwise, I'll be back for dinner. Happy birthday, Madi," he adds, and clicks his tongue for the cats to follow him.

_Shoulders?_ asks Umbra, and he leans down so she can clamber up, purring against his ear. _Happy?_

_Happy,_ he confirms. _Madi is a healer now_.

_Good. Clarke?_

_Clarke's fine. Teaching her. There's a lot to do._

Bellamy's cats don't really get romance, but they understand companionship, so it bothers them that Clarke is obviously a part of Bellamy's immediate family but doesn't live with him. They like it best when she's at his place, second best when he's at hers, and are concerned when they're apart. Every time he leaves Clarke, one of the cats will ask him why they're leaving, and he never has a great reason.

He'd like to live with her too; it's not like the cats are wrong.

_They could do it with us_ , says Umbra. _We have a nice house._

_It's a little small for three people_.

She butts her head against his chin. _Make it bigger._

Bellamy scratches her behind the ears. _We'd probably move in with her, if we were going to consolidate._

_Her house is nice too. And Madi._

He smiles a little. _Yeah. Very nice._

*

"Check this out!" says Madi, and hits herself in the arm with a knife.

Bellamy jumps. "Jesus fucking christ."

"No blood!" she says, proud. "I made the charm myself. Just for cooking, obviously. I can't not bleed all the time."

"I hope that wasn't your first test."

"Of course not," she says, like he's the one being weird about her hitting herself in the arm with a knife. "Clarke says I'm doing good at them."

"I'm sure you are. But don't hit yourself with any more knives, okay? If you have a charm that keeps you from getting hurt, I'll just believe you that it works." 

"Sorry," she says, with a quick smile. "Clarke says there's other stuff I can do too, to keep me safer, in case--" She pauses, and he knows the words she's not saying. "I get in a fight at school or something."

He doesn't call her out; the only thing that will make her believe she's staying here is time, and he doesn't need to tell her that. "Yeah, I can see bullies going after Jordan. Clarke doesn't think you're getting carried away?"

Madi considers. It's been a week, and he wouldn't say she's been doing a ton of magic, but she's got a lot of charms. Clarke thinks she's stockpiling, in case the magic goes away or she has to leave, and they agreed that it was probably okay, that it made sense.

But he can ask without it being weird, so they agreed he should do that too.

"She has a ton of charms."

"She's also been a witch for a lot longer than you have. She had longer to build them up."

"I'm not _using_ them," says Madi. "I just want to try them out. Make sure they work."

"And they do?"

"Yeah." She looks down at her hands, as if she's thinking about the intact skin on her arm. "I know Clarke says it's not fancy, but it's amazing, right? It _works_."

"It is amazing."

"I still wish I could talk to the cats, though."

He laughs. "They're assholes, seriously."

"My cats are happy though, right?"

The _my_ still makes his stomach warm; Madi might not think she thinks she's staying, but she knows the cats are hers. 

"They're great, yeah. They like you and your bed is comfortable."

"Don't they miss you?"

"They still see me. And I told them once they're bigger, they can come visit if they want. But they're happy being here."

"Do they have a lot of interesting stuff to say?"

He has to smile. "Pretty much what you'd expect. _I want food, pet me, too much petting, I'm sleepy_. Honestly, it's more useful for telling them why we do things. They're not wondering where I am right now, I just told them I was going to eat with Clarke."

"If they know where you're going, why do they come with you?"

"Because they like Clarke too," he says. "They want to see her. And you."

Madi smiles, fond and a little exasperated. "You don't have to add me in, I wasn't insulted or anything. It's good that they like Clarke. I thought they might get jealous that you're always here."

"Mostly they don't get it," he admits. "They don't get why their favorite humans aren't all in the same place. They like living with their favorite people, so they figure we should too."

"It makes some sense," says Clarke. Bellamy doesn't jump, but he does wish he'd known she was around. He might have phrased it differently. "Sometimes they'll come over to see me on their own, and they always spend the first five minutes scolding me."

"It's your fault for not coming to them."

"That must be it."

They finish up dinner without more questions from Madi, and without any more terrifying demonstrations of her power. It's Friday, so she has her weekly Dungeons and Dragons game to get to, so they eat early, Madi doing her best to simultaneously eat quickly and fill them in on everything she's looking forward to doing in the campaign that night. It hasn't even been that long of her living here and it's already so different, the way she fits in, how excited she is to get more involved.

Jordan and Gaia show up to walk her over with the dishes only half done, but Clarke sends her off anyway. Cucurbita asks if she can go too, but of course she's too small for that. Bellamy promises that once she's older, she can follow Madi around, when Madi says it's okay, but for now she has to stay home.

The kitten sulks on the couch while Bellamy and Clarke finish up, but her mother came with Bellamy today and she goes to give the kitten some grooming, so by the time they're done, she's in a better mood, and Bellamy is--awkward.

"So, how's she doing?" he asks, half out of real concern and half because he doesn't want to leave yet.

Clarke leans against the counter. "Good, I think. We've been doing some potions, restocking, but it's not like I really need much." Her mouth quirks. "I should have wasted them so I'd have room for Madi to make some of her own."

"Maybe that's the real reason your grandmother got rid of all her technology. So you had to learn to make your own stuff."

"I should see if she left any recipes. Madi's excited enough about making stuff that I could get a lot of cleaning products out of her before she caught on." She wets her lips, smiles. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? I feel like we haven't gotten to hang out just the two of us for a while."

"I should go home and and check in," he says. "Feed everyone. But I could come back."

Her smile is so hard to not kiss; it takes all of his self-control. "I'll try to find something on Netflix."

The walk home isn't too long, and most of the cats decide stay at the house, with food, but also complain that he should have brought Clarke back with him, because they miss her, and also they were starving to death in his absence, and if he goes, what if he never comes _back_?

He thought that being able to tell the cats how long he'd be gone would help, but as it turns out they're less genuinely concerned about losing him and more interested in guilt-tripping. Which, if he's honest, he really should have seen coming. 

Umbra follows him back to Clarke's, though, and Max tags along when he realizes he won't be outnumbered by cats. Clarke is waiting for them on the couch with the kittens, just the sight of her enough to make his throat close with want. He'd like to do plenty of things with her that would require him to kick all pets and children out of the room first, but this is what he thinks about a lot of the time, when he's thinking of being with her: closeness. Closeness, and the knowledge that she feels the same.

He'll take just the closeness for now.

"Find something?" he asks, flopping down next to her, not quite near enough to touch. A careful distance.

"I decided I just wanted to watch _Brooklyn 99_ until Madi got home, if that's cool. We can start with a Halloween episode."

"I want the one where Jake and Amy get engaged," he says, and she grins.

"You read my mind."

She falls asleep after three episodes and slumps onto his shoulder halfway through the fourth. It's not the first time, it's just getting _worse_ , in that inevitable way feelings do. The more he's with her, the harder he falls, and he's going to hit a breaking point soon. He can almost see it.

He might screw up his entire life, but he's not sure how to avoid that.

Umbra jumps up and curls against Clarke's leg. 

_You make it look so easy_ , Bellamy tells her, and she yawns hugely as she snuggles up.

_It's very easy. Humans love me._

"Lucky you," he mutters, leaning back on the couch and closing his own eyes. "The rest of us have to work for it."

He's not sure when he falls asleep, but he wakes up in the dark with a crick in his neck, the TV asking if they're still watching. Clarke's curled around Umbra, her head on his thigh now, her hair tumbling down his leg, and there's a note on the table from Madi: _Looks like you guys need to rest! I'm going to bed, see you tomorrow._

Bellamy rubs his face, checking his phone for the time--11:45--and then reviewing his options. Clarke looks comfortable, but sleeping on a couch is never really _that_ comfortable. She has a bed, and she should go to it. 

_Hey, wake up_ , he tells the cat.

Umbra blinks big eyes at him and then stretches, getting more comfortable. _I'm sleeping_.

_I'm taking Clarke to the bedroom, you can sleep there if you want_.

Cats don't really sigh, but Umbra makes it clear that she's incredibly put upon, and no other cat has ever suffered as she suffers. Bellamy gives her a quick pet and then leans down, picking Clarke up gingerly, hoping she'll sleep through the trip to the bedroom and his leaving without incident.

Mostly hoping. Like ninety percent.

"Bellamy?" she asks, bleary, as he's trying to navigate the door.

"Hey, we're old, we fell asleep on the couch."

She laughs. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. I was trying to get you to bed before you woke up."

"Madi?"

"Upstairs, she left a note." He puts her down on the bed. "You should probably change, but up to you."

"You're not leaving."

"I'm not?"

"It's late, you're tired, I don't even know why you're arguing. Get in the bed."

"Compelling." He kicks his jeans off and flops onto his back next to her; Umbra comes up to butt his hand. "Is this what we do now?" he asks.

"What?"

"Same bed."

"You can take the couch if you want." He can hear her getting her own jeans off, and then movement that's probably her bra going too. "But this is more comfortable, right?"

"Yeah."

It's mostly true. On a purely physical level, it's definitely true; Clarke's bed is obviously better than the couch. The couch sucks for his back.

But as always, he's really paranoid about the bed. It's more than large enough for the two of them, but he's worried he'll roll into her, onto her, tug her into his arms and not let go. 

Of course, he doesn't do any of that. He closes his eyes and goes to sleep and nothing changes at all.

*

His alarm goes off before Clarke's magic wakes them up and he can't figure out why until he remembers it's Saturday and he has to set up for the farmer's market.

"Fuck," he mutters, rolling out of bed and trying to find his jeans.

"You're leaving?" Clarke asks, like she's not quite awake yet.

"Yeah, sorry I woke you up." He flashes a smile. "Cutting boards to sell."

"Oh, right."

She's sitting up, sleepy and smiling, her hair a mess, and it feels like muscle memory, even though he's never done this with her. He has left other one-night stands, other women, in beds like this with expressions like that.

He doesn't even think about it as he leans down and pecks her on the mouth, which honestly sucks. He _kisses Clarke_ and it's so automatic and quick that he doesn't even get to enjoy it.

She doesn't say anything, just stares at him, so he nods, says, "Later," and leaves.

On a review of stupidest things he's ever done, it would have to place pretty high.

_What's wrong?_ Maximus asks, nudging his hand as they walk home. Umbra, not ready to leave the warmth of Clarke's bed, said she'd come back on her own, which might be awkward, if he fucked everything up.

_I made a mistake._

_With Clarke?_

If he closes his eyes, he can almost remember the feel of her lips, soft and a little stale, warm. If he keeps his eyes closed for too long, his imagination takes over, and he thinks about pushing her back on the bed, deepening the kiss, her mouth opening under his, her hands sliding up his back--

_Yeah, with Clarke_.

_Did you say you're sorry?_

_No_ , he admits. _I just left._

Maximus is horrified. _Say you're sorry!_

Explaining guilt to dogs is hard, because dogs are good at being guilty, but not good at nuance. Maximus generally knows when he's done something wrong, and always whimpers and snuffles until Bellamy forgives him. He doesn't like being guilty, so he tries to avoid it, and it would never occur to him to _not_ apologize to Bellamy, even if he stood by the decision to eat the thing he wasn't supposed to eat or whatever.

Bellamy needs time because he doesn't know what he's saying. Apologizing for kissing Clarke feels wrong, dishonest, and even a little risky. It's not as if he doesn't want to kiss her, after all. The only problem was kissing her the way that he did, and then fleeing the scene. It was a failure all around, but he doesn't regret all of it. Apologizing only for the fuckups would mean admitting to a lot of things he wasn't planning to admit to yet, or possibly ever, but apologizing for everything might be even worse.

At the same time, Clarke's got a lot going on right now. She doesn't need his unthinking, stupid affection on top of that. She hasn't mentioned anything about it, the way he'll unthinkingly tell her he loves her sometimes, the way he takes any excuse to spend time with her, all the little things that he obsesses over in private, but kissing her is probably too much for the two of them to just ignore.

And if they _do_ just ignore it, that's not actually better. He doesn't want this to be something they forget about.

_I'm still trying to figure out what to say_ , he tells Maximus. _I'll get back to you._

The morning is stressful, to say the least. He gets everything to the market and his stall set up, his phone burning in his pocket the whole time. He's just waiting for it to buzz, waiting for Clarke to say _something_ , but every time he gets a notification, it's an email or a news alert or someone liking one of his posts on Instagram. Every time someone comes to the stall, he's hoping it's her, but it never is, and everyone with even passing familiarity with him as a person asks if he's feeling okay, which doesn't actually help.

And of course Maximus is lying under the table, tail thumping, periodically thinking _say you're sorry_ in Bellamy's general direction. It's not helpful, but it _is_ a great way to make sure he never forgets about the whole Clarke thing for a single second.

Madi and Gaia show up around eleven to grab something to eat at one of the other stalls before coming over to him with their pastries. They did bring him one too, which is considerate until Madi asks, "We want to go to the river, can we take Maximus?" and he realizes it's a bribe.

At least it's a good bribe.

The dog perks up. _Me?_

_You_ , Bellamy confirms. _They want to go to the river._ Aloud, he asks, "Did Clarke say it was okay?"

"She told us to bring Maximus, but yeah. And Indra did too."

"We just have to be home by dinner," Gaia adds.

"No Jordan today? Everything okay?"

Madi gives him an indulgent smile. "He's doing stuff with Nick. We didn't have a fight or anything, don't worry."

"Okay," he says, semi-parental responsibilities fulfilled. "Have fun, don't forget to bring the dog back."

Maximus takes off, tail wagging, and it's not actually an improvement, being alone. He _still_ can't forget about Clarke, and now he's just aware that he's alone and she hasn't stopped by to say hi. Which she doesn't always, and she could be busy, and she could be figuring things out, but--

"Seriously, what's wrong with you today?"

Miller flops into the free seat next to him, apparently finished with his rounds and not ready yet to go flirt with Monty at the game store. Or genuinely concerned about him, maybe. Stranger things have happened.

"Nothing's wrong," he says, but Miller just stares at him until he cracks, which takes about five seconds. He wants to complain. "I kissed Clarke."

"And?"

"And then I ran away."

Miller nods. "Yeah, sounds about right. When?"

"This morning. I slept over at her place. In her bed," he adds.

"So, you guys hooked up?"

"No. I just fell asleep on her couch and she told me not to go home when we woke up. Nothing happened."

"You kissed her. And you guys slept together."

Bellamy leans back, rubbing his face. "Okay, _she_ didn't do anything. It was all me."

"Did she tell you to sleep with her?"

"Yeah, but--you'd share a bed with me, right? It wouldn't be weird."

"If we had to. I wouldn't just offer."

He's not wrong, not really. Bellamy could share a bed with Miller without worrying about any implications, but if Miller was sleeping over, he'd set up the futon in the loft, like he used to for Clarke. The reason people don't share beds is usually more convention than anything, and he's never thought about bucking that convention for Miller. 

"Fuck," he says, out of counterarguments.

Miller rolls his eyes. "Yeah, the girl you've been in love with since you hit puberty likes you too. If you don't get fucked, I'm going to be really disappointed in you."

"You're always disappointed in me. It's basically the foundation of our friendship." He sighs and drags himself to his feet. "Are you helping me clean up or going straight to Monty?"

"I'll help you clean. Have you talked to her?"

"Not yet. She sent Madi to get the dog and hasn't stopped by, so--"

Miller jostles his shoulder. "So she's probably wondering what the fuck happened. You kissed her and ran away, this is on you."

It would be nice to argue, but that's exactly what happened. "I know. I'll talk to her."

"Cool. It's going to be fine."

Once he's home, he tries to convince himself to go to Clarke's, but it's an uphill battle. Umbra is there and reports that Clarke seemed "weird," but doesn't have any more insight than that. And for Umbra, "weird" is vague enough to be basically useless. Every human but Bellamy is weird, and Bellamy's weird too, she can just communicate with him.

He really should just go talk to her. This is absolutely on him, after all. He kissed her, he left without saying anything. Expecting Clarke to come talk to him is an asshole move, and while he is, on occasion, an asshole, he doesn't like being an asshole to Clarke. Especially not when she's got so much going on.

It's that thought that really gets him, remembering that Clarke has Madi to teach on top of everything else in her life. He told her he'd help with that, and he can't really help if he's avoiding her because he's got a thing for her and he's afraid she'll break his heart. 

He finishes unpacking, makes lunch, checks in on every single animal he can find until Umbra announces, _I'm going to Clarke's and you're coming_ , which means he's out of excuses.

During the walk, he tries to rehearse possible things to say, but he knows it's going to fall apart in no time. As soon as Clarke starts responding, all the worlds will drop out of his head, like they always do. He's only been on the verge of confessing to her a couple of times, but both times just looking at her did him in and his courage failed him.

And, honestly, he thinks it was for the best. Every other time he's thought about telling her, it was because she was on the verge of leaving, for the start of school, for college, to move somewhere else, and he thought that telling her might let him keep her, but it wouldn't have.

Now he wants to tell her because he doesn't think he can live with her and not know if he can be with her, and that's probably the right reason to say something. Even if the urgency is his own fault.

Clarke is in the garden when he gets there, yanking up weeds with a force that indicates she's in a rotten mood. It's not surprising, given the circumstances, but he still feels like even more of a dick.

"Hey."

She startles, and Umbra goes over to shove her head under Clarke's hand for pets, like this is an appropriate time for that. But Clarke does pet her, so that's a good sign.

"Sorry," he adds, as a general kind of notice.

Clarke's not letting him get away with it. "For what?"

He sits down next to her, scratches Conditura when she comes over to see him. Both kittens are out, enjoying the sunshine, and it should be a nice day. "Freaking out and leaving."

Her mouth twitches. "Not your smoothest moment."

"Definitely not." He's trying to figure out his next line when Clarke jumps up, actually jumps, like something bit her. The cats scatter and Bellamy frowns up at her, bewildered, until he sees the glowing charm in her hand.

"Madi activated her emergency beacon," Clarke says, and just like that, he can't think about anything else. Madi needs them, and nothing else exists in the world.

"Does that tell you where she is?"

"Direction, not distance. They said they were going to the river?"

"Yeah, that's what she told me. Do you need to get anything? Supplies?"

She takes a second to think it over, the effort of slowing down and thinking clearly visible on her face. "No. Let's just go."

"What does the emergency beacon mean?" he asks, once Clarke's got them in the woods and going the right direction.

"That she needs me. It doesn't have to be a big thing, so--make sure I don't yell at her if it's not one."

"You shouldn't yell at it her if it is a big thing either," he says. "No matter what happened, it's good that she's calling you, right?"

"Yeah. But I'll feel better once I know why."

"I know. Me too." He frowns. "She's with Gaia, isn't it going to be weird when we just show up?"

"Deal with it later. If it's bad enough, we'll just tell Gaia and--go from there."

"Hey," he says, soft, reaching over to squeeze her arm. "She's going to be fine, Clarke. We've got her."

"Yeah."

Clarke's beacon leads them through the woods, and even though it's fifteen minutes away, at most, it feels like it takes forever. When they get to her, though, Madi is on the path, sitting cross-legged, looking at her own beacon like she's not sure it's going to work.

When she sees them, she jumps up with a bright smile. "I'm fine, don't worry!"

"Thank fuck," Clarke breathes. "What happened?" she asks, louder.

"Nothing bad, I just needed you. And Bellamy too, that was lucky. I told Gaia I was calling, but my phone doesn't get reception out here, so--sorry. I probably scared you."

"Scaring us and being okay is way better than scaring us and not being okay," says Bellamy. Clarke seems to still be recovering. "What happened?"

"It'll be easier to show you."

She leads them back to a clearing where Gaia is sitting with Maximus next to a bush, both of them intently watching something. 

Bellamy, being the go-to first contact for the neighborhood kids in these situations, gets it first. "What did you find?" he asks.

"Bunnies," says Madi. "A whole litter of them."

"Are they hurt?" he asks. He became an expert on animals out of necessity, when neighborhood kids decided he was one. They always worry about rabbit nests when they find them, but the mother is usually just out, not gone. It should be fine.

"I don't think so, but one of them was out of the nest. We didn't touch it!" she adds.

He smiles. "I'll take a look. Why don't you guys and Clarke go back to her house and get some string? We need to test if the mom is around."

"String?" asks Madi, frowning.

"Just get it, I'll show you when you come back."

They take off and Bellamy sits down next to Maximus, giving the dog's ears a quick scratch before he turns his attention to the nest. The bunnies are small and don't look like they're doing great, to his semi-trained eye. They're too skinny, and the one that left the nest definitely shouldn't have. They're not old enough yet.

He picks it up, gentle. _Hey, how long has it been since you saw your mother?_

The kit's trembling stops, and it looks up at him with tiny black eyes. _What?_

_Your mother. You see her when the sun goes down and comes up, right?_

_Yes. But not for--suns. Two suns._

He nods, even though the gesture doesn't mean anything to them. _Are you hungry?_

All the kits are listening now, making small, hopeful sounds, crawling towards him, and he sighs. There are all sorts of animals around that could have gotten the mother, and he can't even blame the wild ones. Foxes need to eat; even feral cats need to eat, but he tries to talk them into eating his food. 

_I'll get you something to eat_ , he assures them. Their eyes are open, which means they should be big enough to eat solid food, but he'll need to double-check what's good for rabbits. He doesn't think he has anything. _Is anyone hurt?_

They aren't, but they're eager to talk to him about other things, to find out about him and Madi and Gaia, about what Maximus is and why he's not hurting them. They're all very tiny and very cute and soft, and they all want to climb on him, which is going to do a lot for his reputation as an animal whisperer if Gaia sees. But this isn't Clarke's first rodeo; she'll probably have figured out a way to send Gaia home, so he won't have to explain why he already knows everything about the situation.

Fuck, he still needs to talk to her. It was so nice, not thinking about it for a few minutes.

As he hoped, when Clarke and Madi get back, Gaia isn't with them. They have string, but also a shoe box with a towel in it and a dropper of water, a good indication they stopped at his house. Clarke doesn't keep this stuff around.

"Are the abandoned?" she asks.

"Yeah, sounds like. They haven't seen their mom for a couple days, they're hungry and want to come with me."

"You're a popular guy," Clarke says, in a tone that suggests to him she's also remembering that they haven't really talked about the whole kissing thing either. 

Madi doesn't know about that, though; she just knows he's got a lap full of bunnies, and she wants to get in on that. "Are we taking them home? How old are they?"

"Pretty young, rabbits don't stay with their moms for long. They'll be ready to be on their own in a week or two."

She looks heartbroken. "That soon?"

"Some of them will probably stick around," he says, smiling. "Or at least visit. Come on, you can help me put them in the box."

They get the kits loaded up and he lets Madi bring them back to his place. As soon as they have cell reception again, he googles to see what he can feed them, and Madi tags along as he heads to the store. It's fine, would even be fun, except that the unfinished conversation with Clarke is hanging over his head, this nagging feeling that maybe this will be the last time he gets to do this. Maybe this is it.

It's an overdramatic, fairly silly worry. Clarke's still going to be his friend. She'll still let Madi visit.

Then again, it definitely won't ever be like this again. This is the last day he doesn't know how Clarke Griffin feels about him.

He and Madi feed the bunnies and they curl up in their new shoebox nest, full and content. Which, as it turns out, doesn't make Madi any less fascinated. She puts the box in her lap and just stares.

"Can we stay tonight?" she asks Clarke. "In case one of them gets sick and needs us to help. We're the healers, right?"

Clarke's mouth twitches. "What about the kittens?"

"What about them? They're okay, right?"

"They need to get fed. And checked in on."

"I can do that! I could even go get them and bring them back."

"Just feed them. Grab some homework too. We can stay here."

Obviously, it's not _just_ an excuse to get them a little privacy, but they do need a little privacy, earlier than whenever Madi's bedtime is going to be. It's not a _long_ conversation, not the basics of it, anyway, and they can definitely cover it in the half an hour it'll take Madi to walk home, feed the cats, and walk back.

Clarke gives her a few other things to pick up while Bellamy focuses on washing dishes and cleaning up all the stuff he used to feed the bunnies. But as soon as he hears the door close, he turns, leaning against the counter as he watches Clarke.

She folds her arms, watching him right back. "You kissed me," she says. 

"I did." He wets his lips. "I'm not sorry about that."

"You're not?"

"I hope not."

The moment of her not responding feels as if it stretches for years, for lifetimes, but he knows it's not even fifteen seconds before she laughs, and his heart starts to beat again.

"You couldn't have said that this morning?" she asks. "You left!"

"Well, I had to get to the farmer's market." He ducks his head, flashes her a smile. "Fuck, Clarke, I didn't know what to do. I didn't mean to kiss you like that."

She's still all the way across the room, but it's a small house. It's not _that_ big a room. She bites her lip, looks him up and down, and asks, "How did you mean to kiss me?" and that's it. He's across the room, hands on her hips, tugging her in, in seconds, and she's grinning.

"However you want me to," he says, and she's the one who pulls him down, still smiling.

It's so much better, the second time.

*

They order pizza for dinner and eat it on the couch; Bellamy didn't prioritize a dining room table when he built the place, and he's never minded not having one, even when Clarke was around, but it might be nice now, with Madi. Two single adults eating dinner on the couch is fine, but with a kid, he feels like a shitty parent.

Not that he is a shitty parent, somehow. His kid is happy and healthy and has ten billion pets _and_ magical powers; today, he feels like the best parent in the world. But he still thinks there's some room for improvement.

They feed the bunnies one more time, since they're a little malnourished, and watch a movie, during which neither he nor Clarke falls asleep, although Madi does. He lets her sleep while he gets the bed made in the loft, and then he wakes her so she can climb up. He sends the cats after her, all of them, and tells them to stay out of his room tonight, which probably won't work, but at least they won't bother him. They'll keep to themselves.

"We probably can't have sex with her sleeping up there, right?" Clarke asks. She's wearing one of his t-shirts and her underwear and nothing else, and the only reason he's not all over her is the loft considerations.

He looks up at the ceiling, sighs. "Probably not, yeah. She might not hear us, but--"

"Maybe not worth the risk. She does have school on Monday. And we both work from home." 

He laughs, gives in and tugs her on top of him for a kiss. It's their third, and he's hoping that even doesn't get laid tonight, he'll at least lose count of how many times he's kissed her. He likes his odds for that.

"So you're already planning to skip work to get laid?"

"I already want to nail down exactly when I'm going to get laid."

"Your room is probably far enough from Madi's room that we could do it tomorrow night," he says. "If you're that eager."

"Are you not?" she asks, eyebrows raised, and he pulls her back down to kiss her again, short kisses that all blend together, long and warm and perfect.

"I didn't say that. You're the one who suggested Monday."

She buries a laugh against his neck. "Or we don't have to schedule this, because we're definitely going to have plenty of time."

He slides his hand up her back, under her shirt, marveling that he can just be close like this. Just like he wanted. "Or that."

"Or," she says, slow, "I'm a witch."

"And?"

"And I'm pretty sure I can figure out a spell to keep sound from leaving this room for at least an hour."

"I love you," he says without thinking, as automatic as ever, because he _does_. It's a little weirder now that they're dating, but it's no less true.

Clarke just grins. "I love you too. Let me just go raid your kitchen for supplies and then you can fuck me."

He watches her leave the room, all long bare legs in the moonlight, and then flops back down, grinning. 

Sharing a bed with Clarke really could work for him, as it turns out.

**Author's Note:**

> I have a short little epilogue kinda thing I want to get up tonight, we'll see if it happens! Otherwise it should be tomorrow.


End file.
